Catalog shopping

So, I've tried and tried to close out the OKCupid account, but in the same way mosquitoes go headlong into the zapper light, I'm finding myself being hopelessly sucked in.  I even posted some new pics tonight and made a few more answers "public," though the sex questions remain unanswered... or private.  Of course, after the pics and new questions went up my message boards went silent.  *deep sigh*  They were even good pictures, as pictures of me go.

I can't help but feel a little "cheapened" by sites like these.  I think I'd have an easier time coming across some horrible video of myself on a slutty porn hub site, honestly.  At least there would be no question about any of the viewers intentions.  When I roll my mouse over picture after picture, read profile after profile, I feel like I'm looking through a catalog, perusing the descriptions of each item as if I could add it to my cart and pay for it with paypal. Saying this probably won't make me popular, especially with any of those folks who really DO google before they go out.  But anyone who has participated on one of these dating sites and has NOT felt this way, is probably not someone I'm interested in dating anyway.  That will be the guy who is taking this whole "true love" thing too seriously.

And yet, the zapper blinks and tantalizes me.  The red flags are waving so high and flapping so hard in the wind with some of these people that I'm afraid I'll lose a limb if I get too close, and yet I still find myself searching for the perfect comments in order to keep the conversations rolling.

*crickets*

How did we come to this?  I'm serious.  How did our society turn into this safely distant, mail-order-romance-just-like-the-movies-frantic-peruse-all-the-options (until 3am) place where no one is really safe, accepted, or ... well.... known.  Everyone seeking to be known, and no one is really known.

I keep myself fit, and am seeking the same.  Love camping, hiking, and being in nature.  Hoping to find that  one person I can connect with on a deep, personal level.  Looking for someone who accepts me for who I am.  Seeking the love of my life.  No drama, please.

No drama.

It makes me kind of sad.  I'm not sad for these brave people who at least are putting themselves out there (getting their goods into the catalog).  I'm sad that this is how it is done. I'm sad that this is the option we all turn to.  I don't want to catalog shop for a mate.  Really. And I don't really want to advertise my wares. And, yet, as I've already noted, there is some kind of thrill in this whole thing that drives me closer to the light each evening.

I should probably find a sponsor, and just admit this is out of my hands.
;)